Boy assaults wrestling teammate with drumstick

[dystopia]

   When I first saw this story, I thought they meant KFC....

Teen assault called a prank that went too far
http://www.newsday.com/ne...story?coll=ny-music-print

As a 13-year-old boy surrendered Tuesday on charges of assaulting a wrestling teammate by sticking a drumstick into his rectum, Nassau police said the boy insisted it was a prank that went too far.
..
Police said the victim had just finished taking a shower last Tuesday after wrestling practice and was reaching down to pull up his pants when his teammate attacked him from behind, "poking him with the tip of a drumstick," said Sgt. Anthony Repalone, a Nassau police spokesman.

"It was enough to cause him to feel substantial pain," Repalone said.
..
He was charged as a juvenile with second-degree assault and criminal possession of a weapon, police said.

[stroh]

What's wrong with trying to drum up a little action?

[gleek]

Oh, I immediately thought:



And I was thinking to myself, "What a waste of a good Drumstick!"

[AKABubba]

Fortunately for the victim that his teammate did not play the clarinet

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

  When I first saw this story, I thought they meant KFC....

I'm with you diz.  I read drumstick and immediately thought of

[TFT]

Rimshot?

[lennyquai]

"Uhhhh, Mrs. Jones, you will need to come to the school immediately."

"Why???  Is everything all right???  Is l'il Johnny okay???"

"Yes, l'il Johnny is ok, physically, that is, though he's one f'ed up little dude.  He's also suspended for the next year..."

"What!!!?  Uh, what did he do?"

"He stuck a drumstick up l'il Michael's ass is what he did, Mrs. Jones."

"Again!!!!??  Walter - go to school and pick up your son."

[Eagleone]

"It was enough to cause him to feel substantial pain," Repalone said.

Ya think!

[chollyred]

Hope it wasn't this kind of drum stick!

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

Hope it wasn't this kind of drum stick!

At least those have a soft, roundish, tip.  a hasty insertion of a regular, pointy, wooden drumstick could lead to unwanted splinters and lacerations.

This drumstick, on the other hand, would suck:

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

Okay, this is just to ironic not to post.

I was searching Google images ("safe search" on - I'm at work) using the term "drumstick" because I wanted to find more humorous pictures of drumsticks for this thread.  Instead, this popped up (content warning, NSFW, and gross)

[Clive]

Wow, win the Super Bowl and the endorsements come pouring in!

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

Wow, win the Super Bowl and the endorsements come pouring in!

HAH!  I didn't even notice the resemblance at first!

[stegerman]

I thought it was Matthew Mocanahay.


And Charlie, with a set up like that there is no way I'm looking. I learned my lesson yesterday.

[Charlie_Foxtrot]

I thought it was Matthew Mocanahay.


And Charlie, with a set up like that there is no way I'm looking. I learned my lesson yesterday.

That's probably for the best.  I've already been smited several times today.  I can only assume it's because of the photo that lurks beneath. 

To quench you curiosity . . . yes, it's exactly what you think it is.  Not particularly graphic, but disturbing nonetheless.  I would never normally post something like that, but the irony of searching for drumstick (with the intent of finding frozen treats, fried chicken, and xylophone striking devises) and find a photo depicting the very incident we were all making fun of . . . well, I just couldn't help myself.