you cant make this *feces* up........

[Seamus]

You guys do realize that Landover Baptist Church is a parody site, right?

I thought this was the church you were the head of?

No, I think people wear pants over there. My congregation frowns on pants.

Finally an organized (you are organized right?) religion I can get behind, errrrr, uhhhh, sink my teeth into, ummm, welllll. 

Is Clive a Deacon?

[Clive]

They call me "deek" for short.  I think it's short for deacon, anyway.