My Bulwer Lytton submission

[Blader]

I've had intentions for years to join the fun, but never seemed to get around to it.

NSFC, NSFWSM, NSFL, NSFP, SFAE, SFEE

As the train slowed to a barely perceptible stop Scott tightened the grip on his attache while standing on the cold, steel platform grandly imagining a past epoch, where Philip Marlowe emerges from the hissing mist to stoically greet a warm, smartly dressed woman, no worse for the wear after her long transcontinental passage, but was suddenly snapped back into the moment looking through the window of the commuter Red Line door, where a toothless bag lady waited impatiently- hunched over, agitated by demons nobody would expect her to describe cogently-for the door to open, desperate to blend into the madness of the bustling day.

[gleek]

That's a beautifully-crafted sentence right there. The economic use of periods therein is breathtaking.

[stroh]

Well there's 5 minutes I'll never get back.

[Blader]

Thanks!!!

It's so bad, I'm actually liking my chances, especially if nobody else submits this year.

I even got an EXTREMELY encouraging response from "the director"

I wrote, over my submission, "I've been meaning to do this for years....."

And he PROMPTLY wrote back, "It's about time you got around to it."

[gleek]

Although your submission practically embodies perfection as-is, were you not inspired by last year's winner to similarly conclude your own opus with "to <some bodily excretion function>"?

[Blader]

maybe

[MFAWG]

My father  has entered this numerous times with a fair amount of success.

As he's fond of pointing out,  he wrote advertising copy for  decades and is highly qualified for this sort of endeavour..

[dystopia]

Nice!  I bought a couple books of their collected entries when I was young and entered the contest once in high school.