2008 PGA Tour Questions

[Tut]

How many majors will Tiger win?  None.  He will concede to Elin's wishes and stay home as a house father while she goes back to modeling.  Tiger will also pick up a little extra cash watching Phil's kids while he and his wife are traveling the circuit.

Will the Mickelson/Harmon combo pay dividends?  Yes, big time!  They will tie the knot at an understated civil ceremony in Vermont, adopt Jamie Spears's baby, and retire to run a bed and breakfast in SOHO.

Will Annika bounce back?  Unquestionably, but it will not be in golf.  She will find a new passion as a star on the Cooking Channel, hosting a show called, "Swedish Cuisine - Secrets of the Ikea Kitchen", and she will champion the cause that Sweden is known for something other than furniture with funny names.

Will any of the PGA young guns make an impact?  Badds will win the Masters, but a bad taste will be left in everyone's mouth when he refuses to don the green jacket because of his newly signed contract with The Gap, which states that he has to wear "cool clothes, like, you know, all the time." 

Will anyone test positive for a banned substance?  It will finally come out that Tim Herron is not just "big boned", but that his physique is the result of steroid experimentation gone awry.  He will claim that his positive test was the result of, "a buffet that I used to go to called the Hungry Heffer", which he will allege is serving "chunks of beef as big as your head and full of growth hormones."

We're not worthy, we're not worthy

These predictions were all made after consultation with my Magic 8 Ball, 2iron.  I'm just reporting the results.

[twoiron]

How many majors will Tiger win?  None.  He will concede to Elin's wishes and stay home as a house father while she goes back to modeling.  Tiger will also pick up a little extra cash watching Phil's kids while he and his wife are traveling the circuit.

Will the Mickelson/Harmon combo pay dividends?  Yes, big time!  They will tie the knot at an understated civil ceremony in Vermont, adopt Jamie Spears's baby, and retire to run a bed and breakfast in SOHO.

Will Annika bounce back?  Unquestionably, but it will not be in golf.  She will find a new passion as a star on the Cooking Channel, hosting a show called, "Swedish Cuisine - Secrets of the Ikea Kitchen", and she will champion the cause that Sweden is known for something other than furniture with funny names.

Will any of the PGA young guns make an impact?  Badds will win the Masters, but a bad taste will be left in everyone's mouth when he refuses to don the green jacket because of his newly signed contract with The Gap, which states that he has to wear "cool clothes, like, you know, all the time." 

Will anyone test positive for a banned substance?  It will finally come out that Tim Herron is not just "big boned", but that his physique is the result of steroid experimentation gone awry.  He will claim that his positive test was the result of, "a buffet that I used to go to called the Hungry Heffer", which he will allege is serving "chunks of beef as big as your head and full of growth hormones."

We're not worthy, we're not worthy

These predictions were all made after consultation with my Magic 8 Ball, 2iron.  I'm just reporting the results.

I suspect you have a reasonably intuitive Magic 8 Ball then

[Jules]

That was one great karma post there, Tut.

[Tut]

Jules, I'm glad you liked it, and thank you.  Who knew it was going to be such a wacky year in the world of golf.  I sure didn't see a couple of those things coming.

[Clive]

I sure didn't see a couple of those things coming.

[Uisce Beatha]

How many majors will Tiger win?
Two, but it ever a year sets up for the Grand Slam this is it.

Will the Mickelson/Harmon combo pay dividends?
Depends on how we define dividends.  I think his days as a major winner are about over.  One more maybe.

Will Annika bounce back?
Hell yes.

Will any of the PGA young guns make an impact?
Not USPGA but look out for some of the Euros.  Go Rory!!!

Will anyone test positive for a banned substance?
Anyone?  Yes.  Anyone we've ever heard of outside a Q-School story?  No.

[Walfredo]

How many majors will Tiger win?
At least two

Will the Mickelson/Harmon combo pay dividends?
I think so

Will Annika bounce back?
doubt it

Will any of the PGA young guns make an impact?
Yes but I don't know which ones

Will anyone test positive for a banned substance?
Still don't understand how any substance can make golf easier.

[Uisce Beatha]

Will anyone test positive for a banned substance?
Still don't understand how any substance can make golf easier.

See how good Sabbatini is anyway?  Think about him with beta-blockers or even just an eighth of Maui.   

HGH to reduce time back from injury maybe.  I doubt much helps on the course though.

[Dunk]

Will anyone test positive for a banned substance?
Still don't understand how any substance can make golf easier.

See how good Sabbatini is anyway?  Think about him with beta-blockers or even just an eighth of Maui.   

HGH to reduce time back from injury maybe.  I doubt much helps on the course though.

I agree that it doesn't seem like steroids or HGH would help a golfer.  I suppose that injury recovery might be an exception.

4 define young gun

Not an old gun.

[gleek]

How many majors will Tiger win?
More than Phil.

Will the Mickelson/Harmon combo pay dividends?
It will pay dividends to Harmon.

Will Annika bounce back?
She'll play better but won't win more than one tournament. Ochoa, Pettersen, and the younger players will make victories tougher to come by.

Will any of the PGA young guns make an impact?
If you're talking about impact on overall interest in golf, then nope. Even Tiger hasn't been able to do much. If you're talking about impact on the money list, I think one young gun may crack the top 5, but that's it.

Will anyone test positive for a banned substance?
Doubtful, but certainly nobody of any notoriety will.

[stroh]

3

Yes.

I thought she already did.

No.

I agree with some no-name trying to get or keep a card.