PG-13. I'm gonna quit smoking, also known as...

[Uisce Beatha]

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove.......

john.irving.surrenders

[t/j]  Never read()  or saw any of his work.  [/t/j]

Well then... please allow me to *fudge* with your head.   

[stroh]

Tools:
      Internet options:
                Set homepage?  Y/N?
                      Set Wikipedia to homepage?  Y/N?



Y.




I think Garp came out when I was in high school, and Cider House shortly after.  Never caught them (obviously) Just never had an interest.  Don't know where they land on his achievements scale.

[Uisce Beatha]

A Prayer for Owen Meany = Sheer brilliance. 

Garp is good.  Ciderhouse Rules... not so much.

[Walfredo]

She sounds like one of those girls.  Gets her jollies by seducing young married fathers.  From where I'm sitting you have 3 options:

1)  Figure out funny *feces* to say back to her (which sounds like it is going to be difficult) and flirt back innocently enough

2)  Brush her off and don't engage in the flirting like you are currently doing with all your testicular fortitude

3)  *fudge* the *feces* out of her whilst saying, "Is that what you want bitch, is that what you needed you *trollop*"  then go back to work as if nothing happened, but continue giving her looks like, yeah you know what I'm thinking about.

[Seamus]

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove...

Dangerous.

She sounds like one of those girls.  Gets her jollies by seducing young married fathers.  From where I'm sitting you have 3 options:

1)  Figure out funny *feces* to say back to her (which sounds like it is going to be difficult) and flirt back innocently enough

2)  Brush her off and don't engage in the flirting like you are currently doing with all your testicular fortitude

3)  *fudge* the *feces* out of her whilst saying, "Is that what you want bitch, is that what you needed you *trollop*"  then go back to work as if nothing happened, but continue giving her looks like, yeah you know what I'm thinking about.

1) Dangerous

2) Winner

3) Dangerous beyond belief

Seriously, do not engage, tell her now in no uncertain terms, or in 5 years you may end up on a silly game show, with a silly lie detector theme, answering the $100,000 question honestly and then getting hosed on the "are you a good person" question, getting hosed so bad that you lose the $100,000 and quite possibly the wife and kids because all of your previous answers to get to that $100,000  have possibly ruined your relationship/marriage.

WTF am I saying.

*fudge* the *feces* out of her.

[stroh]

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove...

Dangerous.

Blindness is the only reputed contraindication in my proposed course of action.

[Clive]

Act gay.



It's been working well for me.

[birdymaker]

i don't know how i missed this thread but i literally had tears streaming down my face.

to read the whole thing in one sitting is priceless. you gents have made my whole day. 

[stroh]

Act gay.



It's been working well for me.

We're not all blessed with inherent drop dead Tom Brady good looks, and  talent  .

[Uisce Beatha]

Act gay.



It's been working well for me.

We're not all blessed with inherent drop dead Tom Brady good looks, and  talent  .

Don't be fooled.  Beneath the makeup he's a tired old *trollop*. 

[Seamus]

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove...

Dangerous.

Blindness is the only reputed contraindication in my proposed course of action.

Dang...my mind didn't go there.

I followed your line to it's ultimate conclusion, which is...

...if you can't be with the one you love 2 iron, love the one you're with.

*note to self*
1) work on sentence sequencing. (damn you spacey)
2) think outside the box regarding possible masturbatory innuendos.

[stroh]

   M.I. for short.

It was actually towards Whiskers not being able to "love himself" 

[Uisce Beatha]

It was actually towards Whiskers not being able to "love himself" 

If it ain't reach-around it ain't *feces*.

[Aske]

It was actually towards Whiskers not being able to "love himself" 

If it ain't reach-around it ain't *feces*.

sheep surrender.

[Aske]

I would never have **** with someone who would have **** with me.

Given your posts on the masturbatory arts, I find your statement not credible.

Why?  I would never have **** with me either.  Ipso facto...

does 'the stranger' count?