Dude!!

[twoiron]

Man gets stuck 'having **** with bench'
August 14, 2008 - 7:28PM

HONG KONG - A "lonely and disturbed" Hong Kong man had to call police to try and free him after his penis got stuck in a park bench he had apparently tried to have **** with, reports said.

Emergency workers took four hours trying to free Le Xing after he attempted to use a hole in the exercise bench to masturbate in a deserted park after dark, the Apple Daily and other papers reported.

Eventually they had to take him to hospital with the bench's 2.5-metre-long metal base still attached to him after attempts to free him by draining blood from his penis failed.

Doctors said the 42-year-old was lucky to still have a penis after the embarrassing incident, reported in lurid detail by several Chinese-language papers here.

Photographs showed rescue workers carrying him to an ambulance on the metal sheet, covered in a red blanket.

AFP

[gleek]

Drain blood?!?

[twoiron]

Apparently attempts to drain the blood failed as a result of there being no nekkid fat chicks nearby....

[dystopia]

Yikes!  That reminds me of this incident:
Bellevue man facing charges for having **** with a table

Clearly, the world needs more fleshlights.