Funny Email

[Jules]

I just got this email, that made me smile, I thought you guys might enjoy it. (you might have already seen it.)


Subject: Wal Mart Application

 

Wal Mart Applicant revealed...



Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in California . They hired him because he was funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

****: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who

will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously,

whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be

applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz

style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can

haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and

post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more

intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be

here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU

FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be

'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may

already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they

tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb ****y blonde

supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,

I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST

OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock! ***
 

 

[dystopia]