hobbit
Tartan Jacket From: The Shire
Karma: 27 Posts: 1823
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F*** My Life
« on: February 03, 2009, 03:23:13 PM » |
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FML - the next big thing on 'Hos?  Some of these just crack me up..... http://www.fmylife.com/ |
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I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here.
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twoiron
Full Metal Jacket From: The Drawing Room
Karma: 41 Posts: 4571
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2009, 04:51:20 PM » |
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I'm working from home today because my car sh1t itself the other night. The repairs look like being worth more than the car itself. FML
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"Nothing says sorry like a warm plate of bacon... or so I'm told"
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hobbit
Tartan Jacket From: The Shire
Karma: 27 Posts: 1823
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2009, 06:09:07 PM » |
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Thats the spirit.
Y'all recall I had two birds in my sights. Well, one decided we were too good of friends (like that makes sense, women are weird), and the other decided I was too old. Now I have nothing. FML.
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I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here.
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tdcoly
Tartan Jacket From: The home of misfits, renegades, blowhards, idiots and fools.
Karma: 10 Posts: 1279
OfflineUs Dags
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2009, 06:28:31 PM » |
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I didn't stop for beer today, and now I'm out. FML  |
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"I'm only speeding 'cause I really have to poop"-as seen on a bumper sticker
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birdymaker
Straitjacket From: a third world country in the making
Karma: 18 Posts: 2923
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2009, 06:41:31 PM » |
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i live in detroit and work in the auto industry. FML  |
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women are like tornados. In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing. In the end, the car's gone, the house is gone..
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Gamma Pi
Mock-T
Karma: 3 Posts: 76
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2009, 07:29:22 PM » |
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I LOVE ice cream. I'm lactose intolerant. FML.
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Fuzzy
Full Metal Jacket From: Island of Misfit Toys
Karma: 61 Posts: 4836
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2009, 07:37:40 PM » |
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I'm trying to get a passport for my daughter who is a U.S. citizen but not born in the U.S. FML
(and *fudge* the Department of State while we're at it)
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"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."
From Oh the Places You'll Go, by Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel)
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gleek
Flak Jacket
Karma: 107 Posts: 9511
OfflineE chu ta!
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2009, 07:39:14 PM » |
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Today, I had just opened up some pröñ on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML LMAO |
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Woman, open the door, don't let it sting. I wanna breathe that fire again.
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gleek
Flak Jacket
Karma: 107 Posts: 9511
OfflineE chu ta!
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2009, 07:39:50 PM » |
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I'm trying to get a passport for my daughter who is a U.S. citizen but not born in the U.S. FML
(and *fudge* the Department of State while we're at it)
Hillary Clinton surrenders |
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Woman, open the door, don't let it sting. I wanna breathe that fire again.
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MFAWG
Rich Corinthian Leather Jacket
Karma: 31 Posts: 5720
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2009, 08:22:18 PM » |
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I'm trying to get a passport for my daughter who is a U.S. citizen but not born in the U.S. FML
(and *fudge* the Department of State while we're at it)
Just forge her up a birth certificate. Apparently, it's done all the time! |
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The things that will destroy America are prosperity at any price, peace at any price, safety first instead of duty first, the love of soft living and the get rich quick theory of life. -- Teddy Roosevelt
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MFAWG
Rich Corinthian Leather Jacket
Karma: 31 Posts: 5720
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2009, 08:25:14 PM » |
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Today, the girl I'm in love with told me she might be a lesbian. She then asked me if I wanted to have **** with her. Does she wanted to make 100% she was a lesbian? Her reply was: "No, I just think you'd be a good transition". FML
ROFLMAO!
What's bad is the guy doesn't even see the opportunity presenting itself here.
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The things that will destroy America are prosperity at any price, peace at any price, safety first instead of duty first, the love of soft living and the get rich quick theory of life. -- Teddy Roosevelt
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gleek
Flak Jacket
Karma: 107 Posts: 9511
OfflineE chu ta!
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #11 on: February 03, 2009, 08:29:45 PM » |
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Today, the girl I'm in love with told me she might be a lesbian. She then asked me if I wanted to have **** with her. Does she wanted to make 100% she was a lesbian? Her reply was: "No, I just think you'd be a good transition". FML
ROFLMAO!
What's bad is the guy doesn't even see the opportunity presenting itself here.
I don't know why he doesn't just transition the *feces* out of her. |
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Woman, open the door, don't let it sting. I wanna breathe that fire again.
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twoiron
Full Metal Jacket From: The Drawing Room
Karma: 41 Posts: 4571
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2009, 09:17:46 PM » |
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Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML
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"Nothing says sorry like a warm plate of bacon... or so I'm told"
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1puttpar
Vest & Plus Fours From: Loomis, CA
Karma: 16 Posts: 717
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #13 on: February 03, 2009, 10:29:05 PM » |
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Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
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I really hate Vista
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birdymaker
Straitjacket From: a third world country in the making
Karma: 18 Posts: 2923
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Re: F*** My Life
« Reply #14 on: February 04, 2009, 02:29:28 AM » |
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Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
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women are like tornados. In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing. In the end, the car's gone, the house is gone..
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