Holy *fudge*!! v."5.9"

This time I was sitting at Applebee's.        But this one, the epicenter was only 20 some miles away.   

Remember that Seinfeld episode where George pushes the girl out of the the way and pushes down the old lady to escape when there's a fire?   

Just kidding, but it was intense.

I can't wait 'til Karen comes out here and hopefuly we can get the  timing right  to feel the Earth move.   

Deuce:  I tried brother.  I tried.  Afterwards, the bartender said "Is everyone ok?"  I said yeah I'm fine, but that quake drained my entire beer.  And it was full.  Can you do something about that?

Apparently I'm not the first one to try it.
 

Hmmm.

I think for future reference you may need to make it clearer that you are in fact not a "local".

For example, from previous experience, I never actually met any women in California who were born raised there and had small *funbags*.

All the women I met who had small *funbags* were from out of town....