Rules Forum Moderator

Noonan, you haven't guessed the identity of Dunk yet?

I thought of that too, but since Clive is a moderator at FGI and perhaps he wouldn't want to be a mod at another forum.

Well, I would like to read you the acceptance speech I wrote for the Employee of the Year award, annually given out at our company's holiday party, and which I blushingly admit I failed to receive again this year:

Ladies and gentlemen, colleagues,

It is with the deepest gratitude and humility that I accept this quite obviously inexpensive and possibly secondhand token of acknowledgement of my prodigious efforts on your behalf. A man of my years does not win such an award alone: I must pause to give thanks for the loving support and attentions of my trophy wife. Pretty nice, huh guys? (*wink and small pelvic thrust here*)

While you have recognized that I stand as a colossus above your ocean of mediocrity, I hasten to add that I would not be here before you -- this cheap trinket in hand -- if not for the efforts of my anonymous coworkers. While I may forget your names, occasionally steal your lunches from the company refrigerator, complain that you run the printer down to like ONE SHEET OF PAPER and then just walk away, leaving it like that so that as soon as I go to print, BOOM! "Out Of Paper"! Like it wouldn't kill you to reach down for a pack of paper and put it in the damn tray. No, we wouldn't want you to break a nail or get a paper cut -- ooh, that might hurt! As God is my witness, if I send a print job one more time and find that printer flashing the red light at me, I swear that I'll spend three straight days eating nothing but pizza, burritos and corn, then come back up at night and go around to each and every office, dropping trou and taking the nastiest dum-- What's that, my dear? Oh, the speech. Right.

Yes, well, if it weren't for each and every one of you showing up every day, I'd be able to park much closer to the entrance. So thanks for that.