Day The Angels Smiled Most Brightly On You

I would say it was the moment I read this thread, vomited up a quart of tar and a Bobby Bonilla rookie card, and then truly appreciated my hetero****uality for the first time in my life.

I would say it was the moment JD read this thread.  The quart of tar regurgitated in projectile form was inconvenient to be true.  However, having him truly appreciate his hetero****uality for the first time in his life will surely result in tender and succulent rack of lamb for the rest of us. 

I don't know who Bobby Bonilla is.  I suspect this might be a fatal flaw in my reasoning.

About 10 years ago my daughter fell asleep at the wheel driving on Highway 101 near San Francisco in morning rush hour.  She crossed 2 lanes in the opposite direction, went over an embankment, rolled the car 8 times, landed upside down and walked away with a minor wrist break.  CHP said they expected her to be dead when they first saw the wreckage.  She is now married and teaching remedial reading in a very poor area.  She's making a difference in the world, so I guess there is a reason for everything.

Okay, fine.  If everyone's gonna be serious...

The day I decided to join the Air Force.  Directly resulted in:

* Removed me from dead end lifestyle that really might have ended badly.
* Finishing my education
* Establishing a career (still going strong)
* Meeting my wife (also still going strong)

Ok, in all seriousness. I was broadsided on the driver's side by a speeding ambulance while driving a little old Ford Escort. The car flew about 80 feet downrange and landed upright, but nearly smashed in half from the initial impact. People who witnessed it thought I was done. Somehow I not only walked away, I walked away without a single scratch. Other than a sore neck, a bruise from the shoulder harness, and some short lived amnesia (although I still remember nothing of the accident), I was totally fine.

It wasn't a life changing event, but it could have been a life ender.

Uh oh, here comes full disclosure...   

I was working my way through school by humping sheetrock.  If any of you have ever done this you know how bad this sucks.  Nothing like taking a 220 lb. bundle of 5/8" x 12' board up three flights of stairs.  CW has met me and he can confirm that I'm, shall we say, shorter than the average bear.  However, I had freakin' Popeye forearms in those days. 

So back to the story.  After 8-9 hours of hard azz manual labor I was trying to stay awake for 2-3 hours of class.  It just wasn't happening.  I was gradually pulling away from my classload and I could see the writing on the wall.  It spelled "DROPOUT".

Plus I was partying hard.  Lots of alcohol and prodigious amounts of reefer.  I was able in those days to drink a fifth of Canadian and indulge in a session or two of my other bad habit and still walk outside to my car.  I'm ashamed to say I got behind the wheel more than once.  I could see the writing on the wall from this aspect also.  It spelled "DEAD".

My friend's dad is ex-Army.  He always liked me and thought all of us, including his son, were headed for big trouble.  He kept trying to convince me to join one service or another.  He recommended Air Force or Navy.  Said there were more career opportunities in those branches.  It took me about 12 months of serious introspection but I finally started the ball rolling.  During those 12 months I weaned myself from the worst of my bad habits.  Cleaned up as best I could.

I went to enlist at 21 years of age.  These were the Reagan years.  Recruiting was as easy as unlocking the door to the office in those days and the guy actually didn't want me.  Too old.  He kept trying to talk me out of it.  Then I took the ASVAB and damn near aced it.  I think recruiters get bonus points for those scores as all of a sudden I was his best friend.  This got things back on track and I moved through the process.  I also became a U.S. citizen at this point.  I admit I might never have done that but I learned that I could expect a four year stint as a cook or some such without it.

I hadn't told anyone about my plans.  Not even my mom.  However, a friend of my roommate was joining the Navy at the same time and he was there when I tested.  He mentioned it and next thing you know everyone knew.  By this time I had signed on the dotted line.  No one could believe it.  I figured I'd better tell my mom before she heard it elsewhere. 

I moved back home for about six months while I was waiting to ship off to basic.  I quit school as I had no idea where my journey was going to take me.  Saved a good bit of money and spent quality time with the best of my friends and my family.  It was a good period.  Had a real golden horizon feel to it. 

So that's basically the story.  Joining the Air Force was easily the best decision I've made solely by myself in my entire life.  It lead to everything good that's happened to me since. 

Something else came out of all of this that makes me very proud.  My best friend was going even further south than me.  He was working at a rough night club and his bad habits exceeded mine by a bunch.  We had started spending less time together as he was becoming a d!ckhead in the process.  The snuff will do that to you.

Somewhere along the way he was noting what I was trying to do.  After I'd been gone for about two years he gave me a call.  He asked me if I was sitting down.  I figured he was getting married.  Nope.  He had been going back to church and was getting ready to go on a Mormon mission at 23 or 24 years of age.  Now I wouldn't have gone that specific route but he pretty much did the same thing I did.  He got the hell out. 

He has often told me that if it wasn't for my example he figures he'd be dead now.  That's a big deal to me.  I did it for myself but you never know who's watching. 

And we all lived happily ever after.