If you only had 48 hours to live and!!!

Well, since my usual options are not available, I'd probably do a lot of traveling and adventurous activities.

TFT, I thought you were a yank!!!!!!
Where are you from???

Oh, he's as figgy pudding as they come. 

What's really funny, however, is he lives Oklahoma!  Ha! Okla- foogin'-homa!

Can you imagine him at T.G.I.Fridays?
He'd be all like "Hey, luv!  Bring us a pint, then"
And she'd be all like " Look, shoog, I ain't got time for you to play funny talkin' games."
And then he's all like "What's all this then? Just an Ale, and the clicker to tune the Manchester match."
And shes totally like " Hun, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.  You've clearly had enough."

Oh, good times, good times.  He's been in the jug enough times, however, so I'm sure he's in cozy with the local billy clubbers.

It's more like "Wow, I love your accent." 

"I could listen to you speak all day." 

"Say something to my friend."   

"Are you Australian?"

Unfortunately, I'm not kidding.


My local bouncers know me by name because I beat them all up one night or I stand with them while I wait for a taxi.  One of those.

They also remember me because I'm the only one that orders a taxi.  Everyone else in the bar seems to think they drive better when they can see twice what they saw driving in.

I would attempt the most daring and incredible stunt ever conceived. It might be something along the lines of getting shot from a cannon, catching the wing of an airplane in mid-flight, cruising to 17,000 feet, skydiving from the wing of the plane and onto a motorcycle that is balanced on a tightrope over the grand canyon, driving the bike off the rope and into town where I rob the nearest bank without ever getting off the bike or stopping, speeding out of down before attempting to jump the bike over 200 school buses that are filled with TNT, all the while throwing the money from my bank haul to my fans in mid-air. I'd videotape the whole thing! Now, of course I'd die while doing this stunt, but at least I'd die knowing I would go down as the number one video in youtube history.

Maybe if I include him in the stunt?

That particular evening involved a barmaid that got me extra drunk on free stuff, for some of the reasons mentioned above.

I got a lift home from her and a friend and it was her that let me out of the car on the road.

Even though I don't get that sloshed usually I am now careful to request late night chauffeurs to deposit me on the drive, beyond that pesky and violent mailbox.

Life is a lesson.