And so it ends.

The last day of work.

It died more with a whimper than a bang I guess.

It could be that the remaining staff is somewhat shell shocked that my department is being gutted that only 1 remains from a crew of 7 that averaged 15 years with the company (I had 18), it could be that they see the writing on the wall and know that the cancer that hit us will soon envelope them, it could be so many things I guess, but at least for me it was quite peaceful and calm, for such an emotional animal that I am. I however am taking Celaxa and everything was ohhhhhhhhhh kayyyyyyyyyy.

I had made up my mind awhile back that there were several people I just didn't want to say goodbye to, y'know them, the sales guy who never talks to you, the marketing lady who will only acknowledge your existence when she wants a package shipped priority overnight and then will come visit the great unwashed, the office manager who is such a "b" that almost everyone in the building doesn't want to talk to her, only she doesn't know how reviled she really is.

I made the analogy in my mind that this was very much like watching someone you love die slowly, I have known of my demise for five months now, and I think that, much like watching a loved one linger in pain and die that when it ends you feel such a relief, whatever you want to call it, going to a better place, or, at least they aren't in pain anymore. There was this strange calm that came over me, instead of just riding off into the sunset and saying vaya con dios "F" you to the people that haven't had a decent word to say to me in 5 or 10 years, I shook hands, I gave hugs, and much like a politician on the campaign trail I kissed a cheek or two, that would be the cheek just east and west of your nose, heck if there would have been a baby around I would have kissed it too.

I'm sure it was the drugs the doctor gave me, although he said it would take a week or two to kick in, they had to be why I was calm in this mini storm.

So...now what. I'm taking a little time to decompose, no wait, decompress. This has been a pretty rough 5 months, I have some major and minor yard work that needs tendin' to, I have a golf game that has gone to hell in a hand basket, I realized last week at the driving range how much I miss this game, the smell of the grass, the feel of the draw breeze when you hit a fade shot, the Zen like feeling of the white ball hanging in the blue sky falling to green mother earth, man I miss it. And then I have to find another job, one more 20 year run and I can retire. Can you catch lightning in a bottle twice?

I'm shaving this depressing gray beard I've been growing since the announcement of the lay offs, then I'm taking the dog to play, he always makes me smile, and then I'm taking my blister to the driving range, time to toughen it up again.

It's like when Tim Robbins said to Morgan Freeman in "The Shawshank Redemption" and I paraphrase.

"Well Red I guess it comes down to two things, you either get busy livin' or you get busy dyin'"

Life is good.

When I was laid off (right after I got married), I spent the entire time sitting on a couch feeling sorry for myself. When I finally found a job, I looked back on my time off and wished I had spent it doing something constructive or at least fun and entertaining. Play some golf, unwind a bit and don't let it get too much in your head. 

Good call about taking time to decompress.

In the past when I've been between jobs, those were important periods where I had a chance to recharge and look at my priorities in life with a fresh perspective.

I've been at my current job for 6 years now, which is the longest I've ever been at one company, and with the daily grind I really haven't had the opportunity take stock, just as Clive said.

Get busy living life!!!  I love that line.

You'll be right mate!!!

Dude, sounds like that place sucks large.

You seem like a cool cat.  You'll be alright.  Just keep your eye on the prize (trust me, it ain't a job).

Thanks to you too Uisce.

The place really wasn't too bad, there were just a few people that sucked like in any job, my department was the best though, we made the master CD's, were listening to all kinds of music all day long as part of our QC process, and it was just 7 guys (how do you type the Tim Allen grunt?) and we were a well oiled machine from about a dozen master cd's a week we produced approx. 6,000 cd copies per week to ship, we made the artwork for the traycards and built the cd cases.

Out of the 6 I'll probably stay in touch with 4 of them the rest of my life, knock on wood. I think if it sucked too bad I wouldn't have lasted that long.

Seamus, PM me.

I'm off on Tuesdays...

Sorry for the bump.

Thanks Lenny and 2Iron (hang in there brother) for the mojo.

And MFAWG I'm practicin'! as luck would have it one of my former co-workers lives near Maplewood and I have some Cd's to give him. Give me a few weeks and we'll get er done!

SM