Ready to start filming Mr. Hitchcock...

So my Sunday was interesting to say the least.  I play golf in the morning and 20-30 mph winds.  In the middle of the front nine I make an 8 footer, 12 footer, 15 footer and 20 footer in consectutive holes.  Which was extra nice since I was hitting the ball like crap and they were all for par or bogey.  So I end the day with a nice 85 which on Lincoln west in severe wind is pretty good. 

So on my way home I call the Mrs and she and my son our outside playing.  She asks me to bring home some food.  Only thing between us and the course is Arby's or Grandy's.  So Grandy's (country style fixings) it is.

As I am leaving the drive-thru she calls back. 

Umm we have a bird in our house.  I guess it came through the chimney. 

(Thinking I guess I should have had the flue that is rusted open fixed)

Saying, "*goshdarn* *feces* you have to be kidding me"

No I see the bird flying around are *goshdarn* living room right now. 

So I get home and she is outside with the boy and dog.  I go in with my head down and on a swivel.  Run to the kitchen and get a broom.  Hear the damn bird fly over my head and freak out running out of the house.  We try to open doors while I freak out when the bird flies near me.  It keeps going back and forth from the kitchen, dining room and den sitting on the light fixtures.  So I can't hit it without breaking something.  And when a bird flies in your house it is freaky as hell but I'm sure I was just being a *humid grotto*. 

So after 45 minutes of this with Sunday turning into a day from hell while our food gets cold my wife goes over to our neighbors' (the middle age gay couple) house.  One of them brings a net and I follow him to the kitchen where the bird was last sighted.  He goes right in after the *fudge*er and knocks him off the light fixture.  Gets him on the ground and tries to capture him in the net as I'm opening the screen door the bird flies out.  Thank *goshdarn* god you evil piece of *feces* bird I hope you *goshdarn* die.

Thank you so much Karl (who we loving call Hot Karl).  And I don't even feel emasculated as much as relieved the bird is gone.  Now I think I'll fix the flue. 

This the neighbor:



?

Looks eerily similar.  However, as to not destroy our nuclear family he was wearing "normal" clothes.  Which was nice of him.

So let me get this straight...while you were running around screaming like a little girl over "tweety" flying around your gay neighbor (Hot Karl is what you call him?)comes in and scares the bird out of the house.
 

When it was all over did you get a hug from Karl?

lmao.  I can't imagine what would happen if a bird came into our house.  Our dog would probably tear the place up trying to catch it.

One wonders what he was saying afterward to his partner about you.

Sounds like you had an interesting day.