GolfHos
 
*
November 14, 2024, 09:50:53 AM
Username: Password: Duration:

Hell, as explained by a chemistry student

 
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Hell, as explained by a chemistry student  (Read 1906 times)
0 Members and 1 Lurker/Spider are viewing this topic.
1puttpar
Vest & Plus Fours
From: Loomis, CA

Karma: 16
Posts: 717
Offline Offline


View ProfileIgnore this user
Hell, as explained by a chemistry student
« on: January 10, 2008, 03:08:16 PM »

Not sure about the validity of the source, but interesting nonetheless.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

 Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

 THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
Logged Return to Top

I really hate Vista
stroh
Sleeveless Hoodie
From: Impact Crater Springs, CA

Karma: 155
Posts: 16135
Offline Offline

We're doomed!

View ProfileIgnore this user
Re: Hell, as explained by a chemistry student
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2008, 03:11:25 PM »

LMAO!

+1
Logged Return to Top
twoiron
Full Metal Jacket
From: The Drawing Room

Karma: 41
Posts: 4571
Offline Offline


View ProfileIgnore this user
Re: Hell, as explained by a chemistry student
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2008, 03:15:21 PM »

Ahh,.. an oldie but a goodie

 Grin
Logged Return to Top

"Nothing says sorry like a warm plate of bacon... or so I'm told"
Spanky
Full Metal Jacket

Karma: 48
Posts: 4842
Offline Offline


View ProfileIgnore this user
Re: Hell, as explained by a chemistry student
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2008, 03:21:26 PM »

That is assuming Teresa was screaming "Oh my God" in pleasure. If it was due to the realization that she just made a horrible mistake, as in "Oh my God what have I done" then the last part of his hypothesis is not true.

The rest I'll concede to him though as my wife once told me "when hell freezes over" when I asker her to marry me.
Logged Return to Top
Pages: [1]   Return to Top
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Related Posts
Another 'guess the material' contest...
yes, just the position on the ring where the bonds form (aka replacing the hydro
by Aske

Heroes [SPOILERS]
They still haven't explained it.  But in the teaser for next week, the
by dystopia

for once, a teacher molesting student story is NOT about Ms. Ragusa
http://www.1010wins.com/Teacher-Accused-of-Having-Sex-with-Student/2560521
by Aske

A story to tell the grandkids...
Last weekend (the weekend before Thanksgiving) a bunch of us got in a study grou
by MP

 


 
  Powered by SMF | SMF © 2001-2009, Lewis Media

Dilber MC Theme by HarzeM