Jules
Members Only Jacket From: Australia
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Funny Email
« on: October 03, 2008, 01:42:34 PM » |
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I just got this email, that made me smile, I thought you guys might enjoy it. (you might have already seen it.)
Subject: Wal Mart Application
Wal Mart Applicant revealed...
Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in California . They hired him because he was funny.....
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)
****: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment .
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU
FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
'Do you have a car that runs?'
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may
already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they
tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb ****y blonde
supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST
OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
***Old People Rock! ***
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